"Open My Eyes" - Cultivating a Spirit of Anticipation

I have a wonderful friend.

Well, scratch that. I have wonderful friends. Please don't think that my first statement means I eek out a social existence via Facebook, Twitter, and this blog without the joy of any real, face-to-face relationships. I promise you: it's not like that.

But I was, specifically, thinking about one friend in particular. The fact that I even know her name is a testimony to God's faithfulness, and when I think about the friendship we've cultivated over the past few years, my mind gets blown. Every time. Kaboom. Little bits of baffled brain all over the place.

We talk about everything: work, church, relationships (both the guy and the girl kind), family dynamics, dreams, successes, et cetera, et cetera. And while we jive on almost any topic our conversation lands on, I think we most appreciate sharing what God is doing in our lives, how He is challenging our faith, and what He's been teaching us through His Word. I would say without a doubt that these more "spiritual" discussions are the crux of our friendship. We're soul-sisters, without a doubt, and I can assure you that there's nothing more incredible than peering in at a person's heart and finding that it, like yours, has been captured by the deep love of Christ.

So, recently, we had a soul-sister talk. It's what we gals do. Call each other up, say "hi," exchange pleasantries, and then get into the stuff that really matters. Life lessons. Friendships. Our respective relationships with God. Forget the who-likes-who and oh-my-word-did-you-see-this-movie superficiality; we're sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17) before the timer on my cell phone reads "00:02:00." (Now, granted, the latest film version of Jane Austen's Emma has come up occasionally...ish. Okay, frequently. But come on...it's Jane Austen!)

She (my friend, not Jane Austen) asked me about my life recently, and I gave her the lowdown on college life. (Unlike myself, she chose to forgo college, feeling that God had a different agenda for her life.) In one of our previous conversations I had mentioned the challenge of maintaining a consistent schedule for my time with the Lord every morning; she now asked how I'd been doing in that area. Thankfully, I was able to share how I, by God's grace, had read God's Word almost every morning and was committed to continuing the practice.

Granted, keeping such a commitment has been challenging at times. On most mornings, my alarm blares in my ear, I hit the "snooze" button, and flop back onto my pillow with a groan. When I finally roll out of bed, I'm still tired - but the day will go on in spite of me, and my professors will have little sympathy for a bleary-eyed student who simply didn't get to bed on time the night before.

But, before I hit the shower, it's devotional time.

I used to ultra-prioritize my mornings, showering and getting completely ready for my busy day before I spent any time in God's Word. After all, I had to be ready and prompt; there's no such thing as "fashionably late," right? As you might expect, my theory didn't work very well. By the time I was satisfied with my hair and had gulped down a protein shake, the clock would read 8:00 a.m., and I was out the door. No devotions, not so much as a prayer.

Therefore, I decided that my very first post-rolling-out-of-bed move would be to open my Bible and a devotional book (currently Springs in the Valley, by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman) with the intent to spend time (however brief) in the Lord's presence before I dreamed of doing anything else. It usually amounted to five minutes or less, but God was (and is) so faithful to show me exactly what I need for the day ahead.

Now, I know what you're thinking. (Didn't tell you I could read minds, did I?) "Sorry, but that doesn't work for me. I do my devotions, but I don't ever hear from God. I don't even know why I bother anymore." Or maybe...

"Yes! That's awesome! I totally get what you're saying! I mean, I just read John 3:16 this morning and the part where it says, 'God so loved the world' was just fantastic because it reminded me how much God loves me, and today has been the best day EVER and oh my goodness I LOVE JESUS!"

Umm... *pats on head* *runs very far away*

But now, in all seriousness, let me ask you: what exactly are you expecting from your devotions?

A spiritual pick-me-up?

A "Jesus high"?

A day in which nothing goes wrong, because you read Philippians 4:13 while you were putting on your makeup?

Or, perhaps: were you expecting anything?

Before I go further, I feel a need to clarify: John 3:16 is a spectacular verse. It takes the Gospel and wraps it into a concise sentence that is easy to remember and powerful to quote. In the same way, Philippians 4:13 is an extremely important reminder that, as 17th century Christian author and preacher Jonathan Burr wrote, "in myself I am nothing; in Christ, all things." Unfortunately, though, these verses have been overemphasized to the point where they have become church-y cliches that we no longer meditate upon reverently, instead relegating them to common catchphrases that mean about as much to us as the conventional greeting of "How are you?"

But, to continue: what are you expecting from your time with the Lord? Do you quickly scan the page and the dash off to the next task on the list? Or do you enter into your devotions with a spirit of anticipation, peering eagerly at every word of every verse, eyes open to the message that you know God has for you that day?

Throughout the Psalms we read of the importance of anticipating God. In Psalm 25:4-5, David prays,

"Show me the right path, O Lord;
    point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by Your truth and teach me..."

His prayer reflects a heart desirous of and expecting God to respond. He was anticipating God to answer; further, he was willing to follow the path that God led him on.

Psalm 119 is even richer in examples of a spirit of anticipation. In the description of joyful people found in verses 1-2, one of the characteristics listed is anticipation: "Joyful are those who...search for Him [God] with all their hearts" (v. 2). Joy is found in actively seeking ("with all their hearts") God. Again, here comes the word we've all grown to know and love: anticipation. In general, you don't look for something if you don't expect to find it. Expectation precedes seeking.

Finally, perhaps the most vivid but to-the-point prayer that reflects a heart of anticipation is found in Psalm 118:19: "Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in Your law." This is my prayer every morning, the words my heart cries out as I seek to know the Lord more and more. Open my eyes! Remove the blinders! Show me what I have never seen before!

Whether it be for you, a friend, a coworker, a family member - a total stranger, even- God has a message that He wants you to hear today. He wants to encourage you, challenge you, equip you to share His love in a fresh way to someone who desperately needs to hear His truth. Don't let a busy schedule or a blind heart prevent His words from reaching their intended destination. Preface your quiet time with this prayer:

Open my eyes, Lord!

 

*gasping for breath*

Heya.

I'm a pretty terrible blogger, eh? No posts for a few months...tsk tsk. Well, I promise there's a good...very good...reason behind my delinquency. Think school. And papers. And tests.

I don't know about you, but for me those items generally take priority over blogging to a handful of disinterested followers. :)

I'd thought I'd kick off my free time with something sweet and simple - a few new graphics for you to enjoy! The first two are banners specifically sized to function as Facebook cover photos, and the last is a teensy little icon I whipped up on a whim in between classes.

Stars and Dots

In 1997 Max Lucado released a whimsical storybook for children entitled You Are Special. It was a book that I grew up on, and I still remember the moments when my dad would pull out it out and start reading to me the story of a little wooden Wemmick named Punchinello.

"Wemmicks?" You stare at me blankly. "Punchinello? Say wha?" Ohhhh yes. The Wemmicks. Those silly little wooden people who, to my knowledge, have yet to discover any real worth apart from stars and dots and probably to this day know next to nothing about how much their Maker loves them. And Punchinello. Ah, Punchinello. The saddest Wemmick of all who taught me and dozens of other 90's kids that, well, "You are special."

The premise of the book is simple: what's most important is what God thinks. However, instead of spelling it out in so many words, Lucado decided to use an ingenious illustration involving little wooden people called Wemmicks. They're all special, of course, but seem to need validation from each other to find any real worth. This validation comes in the form of stickers in the shapes of dots and stars. When a Wemmick performs a noteworthy deed, such as singing the most beautiful song or balancing precariously atop a stack of wooden crates a mile high, the other Wemmicks gather around him and reverently apply the star stickers. However, for those who trip on pavement stones or just can't seem to skip a rock across the water, the Wemmicks are also there to plaster the miscreant with loathsome gray dots.

Such is Punchinello's fate. He can't do anything right. He's the odd fellow tripping over the paving stones and unsuccessfully attempting to skip rocks across the water. He isn't special. He can't possibly be. The star-less bespeckling of dots all over his wooden body are enough to verify that. And he can't do anything about his gray-dotted destiny. That's just the way life is.

Until he meets Lucia. Unlike all the other Wemmicks plastered with a mix of stars and dots, the stickers just don't stick to her. Stars and dots alike fall off. And what's more - she doesn't even seem to care.

Punchinello is dying to know why the stickers won't stay on Lucia and why she doesn't care. When he finally works up his courage to ask her, she smiles and tells him "It's easy. Every day I go to see Eli."

Eli? Who is He? And why is He so important?

You see, Eli isn't just another Wemmick. He doesn't even live with the Wemmicks in their village. In fact, he lives down the road and over the hill and away and away and away.

Who is He, then?

Eli is the woodcarver.

The Wemmicks are His own unique creations, carved out with His chisel and fashioned in love to be perfectly who they are. He loves His Wemmicks, even if they have become a little preoccupied with stickers, aren't perfect most of the time despite how many stars they've acquired, and don't really even know Who He is.

Punchinello swallows his fear and timidly approaches the wood shop, desperate to know what it is about Eli that makes the dots fall off. Hearing Punchinello tiptoeing around the corner of the massive wood shop, Eli calls out, "Punchinello?" He picks a very shocked Punchinello up, sets him on the work bench, and begins to tell the downtrodden Wemmick something very important. "I think you are pretty special," He tells him.

But why is Punchinello so special? After all, can't Eli see the dots all over his green outfit? Doesn't He know that the dots mean Punchinello is useless, a failure in the eyes of everybody? How can Punchinello possibly be special?

"Because I made you," Eli gently reminds him."And I don't make mistakes."

And therein lies the powerful message of the story. Punchinello's value doesn't lie in how many stars or dots he has accumulated, and neither does our value lie in what people have to say about us. Even thought Punchinello was clumsy and unpopular, Eli loved him, because Punchinello was His own special creation. In the same way, even though we humans sin and make a general mess of things, God loves us unconditionally because we are His own special creations. And He doesn't make mistakes (Isaiah 43:4; Isaiah 46:4).

~

That's a significant amount of back story, but it's essential to understanding the main point of the rest of this post, namely a poem that I scrawled out not so very long ago. I was inspired by Lucado's illustration of stars and dots and consequently did what any sensible person does when they're inspired: I grabbed a pen, sprawled out on my bedroom floor, and got to it.

Stars and Dots

A star for me,

should I live 

my life in such a way

as to please mere men.

And should I fail,

they tell me so. 

For instead of a star -

shining, golden with their praises -

they give me a dot; 

all their scorn in a 
small,

gray,

mocking 
dot

that clings to my flesh

and whispers "You are nothing."

My heart inclines to believe.

For is this not the lust of humankind,

the way we spend our eternal days,

in craving applause,

fading for lack of praise,

clamoring,

clamoring,

to be heard above the noise?

Stars, stars,

from ones who know not their Maker;

dots, dots, 

from those who do not know their own weakness.

And yet all the time,

above the noise,

He is singing,

singing over us!

If we would but cease our frantic madness,

become blind to the stars,

blind to the dots, 

deaf to the voices lying to us,

then we would hear...a song 

that makes the stars grow dim

and the dots become as nothing.

A song that declares,

"I have called you by name,

I have made you;

You are Mine!"

And then?

Freedom.

For even stars cannot compare 

to the brilliance of

His love. 

(See Zephaniah 3:17, Isaiah 43:1-4.)

New Music Video From the Annie Moses Band

I'm very excited. Very, very, very excited.

A certain band released a certain music video that I've been waiting for since May of this year.

And I thought that you might like to enjoy it. ^.^

Ladies, and the occasional gentleman that might wander this way, may I present the Annie Moses Band!

Pure Insanity

I LOVE journaling. Gimme my go-to writing instrument (a Pilot "Precise V5" Extra-fine Rolling Ball pen), the warm glow of my bedside lamp, and a quiet evening, and I'm set to scrawl out twenty pages or so of whatever comes to my mind. Whatever comes to my mind. That means government officials could make a good case to incarcerate me for mental instability based simply on the contents of my journals.

But I like it that way. Journaling helps me open up and unearth all the little secrets hidden beneath my skin that I didn't even know existed. And, most of the time, the very act of putting all my thoughts to paper is a way for me to get honest before God in a way that verbal praying doesn't allow. I once had a rare moment of brilliance and captured the essence of that idea, writing, "...it's almost as if these journals are their own gateway, an entrance into the very presence of God." I've written everything from the secular to the sacred, letting my pen go with the flow of my heart. Sometimes my words are soft-spoken and whisper prayers; in other cases, I eek out my frustrations in some kookier ways.

The following entry is a case-in-point:

September 11, 2011

 I would wish upon the world sanity and with it an escape from the ludicrous, self-induced chaos that plagues it.

At the very least, I propose sending the majority of Earth's population to another planet. Once this is done, then those who possess at least a measure of sanity could find each other and cease risking their mental health.

Or maybe the sane ones could pack off to another planet and leave the bedraggled rest of the populace to their own devices.

Ah. Whatever the case, a split is most certainly called for. I think I'll telegraph Pluto (probably their most advanced form of communication) and negotiate immigration affairs.

Will update when more is known.

Whew.

Wow.

I really did write that. Eeek.

But it really was a very valid rant on the blight of general human insanity. Not the think-outside-the-box-and-break-the-cool-status-quo insanity (that's the one I'm pleasantly plagued with), but the insanity that occurs when we try to live life apart from the way God designed life to work. I've watched people seemingly lose, as they say down south, their "ever-lovin' minds" by choosing to reject God's way and go with the flow of whatever the culture...or their friends...or their boss...or their girlfriend/boyfriend...says.

Sometimes the errors they make are so blatant that I want to punch something and scream, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOUR MIND GO?"

And then God whips back my mental punching bag and plants His truth right in front of me like a hybrid wall of bricks, concrete, and steel ringed with barbed wire on top. And my mental fist connects rather solidly - rather painfully - with that mass of immovable truth.

"If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall"

(1 Corinthians 10:12).

 *winces* Oh, hello, Pride. Ummm. Wow. This is awkward.

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience" (1 Corinthians 10:13)

So...I'm capable of being just as stupid? Even though I think they're making some pretty terrible decisions right now, I could turn around tomorrow and do something just as bad? I could "lose my mind"? 

Yes, you poor deranged self. Apart from God's grace (1 Cor. 15:10; John 15:5), you are dead to any impulse that would lead toward doing right. In reality, you should be doing everything wrong! The Apostle Paul understood this reality clearly: "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. " (Romans 7:18). In and of ourselves, we're pretty useless when it comes to doing good - when it comes to pleasing God. That's where His grace comes in.

"And God is faithful" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Get that? While this statement clearly reminds us what a faithful God we serve, it also shatters our self-sufficiency, that clingy hang-up that tells most of us human beings that we can do it ourselves. First, in verse 12, we're reminded that we're just as "accident-prone" as anybody else. Second, we're told that we all deal with temptation. The final death-knell for our pride sounds when we read "And God is faithful." It's almost as if this author (Paul, again) is saying, "Now, let me tell you how messed up you really are apart from God. And once you've figured out that there's nothing you can really do about it, let me reinforce that idea by saying, point-blank, that God is faithful. Not you. Not your friends. God is faithful." 

But don't get down because you've just been blindsided by the reminder that you can't live a holy life on your own. Celebrate! Rejoice! Get excited! Why? Because there's another meaning to that phrase that should fill you with joy. What is it? Well...God is faithful! Not, "God is sitting in heaven cooking up fire and brimstone for you." Not, "God is experiencing an intense hatred of you." No! God is faithful! 

"For indeed I am for you, and I will turn to you..." (Ezekial 36:9).

Today, I just pray that God makes us realize our utter need for Him (Matt. 5:3) and shatters our pride. That's where revival starts, after all. And then, I pray that He will remind us that He is faithful, that He is for us, working beyond our weaknesses to showcase His glory in our lives. For when we are weak, then He is strong (2 Cor. 12:10).

" I have a great need for Christ; I have a great Christ for my need." -C.H. Spurgeon

Shhhh!

It's Almost Monday!

Let this be your prayer as you head out into a new week! Trust Him, seek Him, and submit to His will - and be prepared to have a truly amazing Monday...and Tuesday...and beyond!